"When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies. And now when every new baby is born its first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be one fairy for every boy or girl."~ Peter Pan
Little did I know when I told you all about our new little friend a few weeks ago that we would be trying to come to terms with losing her. How do you tell your child that their beautiful little friend so full of life and love is gone? With our daughter it was simple, she did the hard work for us. We told her that her friend had passed away and she asked a couple questions and then simply told us that it was ok and that she was not sick anymore and that now she could talk to her whenever she wanted. She spent days coloring pictures of her friend and writing and rewriting her name. She told her goodnight as we put her to bed like she was right there, smiling sweetly. While we tried to find words, she was building us a garden, planting rocks and seeds, placing sea shells and sprinkling glitter. Oh to see a world in a grain of sand, I thought. To see the loss through the eyes of my child while she is creating this world for her friend holding tight to her memory.
Pink like bubble gum and cotton candy, hibiscus and sunsets. The simple laugh, her "little talk" like a whisper. Her spirit like a lion, fighting for her right to remain even if it is just to touch the depth of our souls and reawaken our hearts. Where did she go? Where can I find her? The answer comes with the question in the "Garden". She is where the fairies hide amongst the flowers, in the early hours when the dew kisses the morning as it clings to the spiders web. The sun streams through the branches, cutting a path through the shadows where our hearts travel, searching for her smile and finding the warmth of her memory filling the cracks in our hearts. She sings her songs now on the wind. She soars on the wings of the butterflies and the birds with which she travels, commanding the dragonflies to carry forth her transformation. This is how we have chosen to remember her like she was in life, graceful and beautiful and perfect. What a gift to have had the chance to know her, to share in the journey!
We feel so honored to have met her wonderful family. We have found friends though this process that only the depth of an ocean could bring. We stand still just to listen to the wind whisper her name and know that it is our children who speak it. We can't find the words to express the depth of our sorrow for her family, we know only that the color pink will always belong to her and every butterfly will remind us of her grace in life.
~Brian Froud said "Once upon a time, I thought faeries lived only in books, old folktales, and the past. That was before they burst upon my life as vibrant, luminous beings, permeating my art and my everyday existence, causing glorious havoc."
Thank you Carmen Leolani White for causing glorious havoc and teaching us that life is about how you live, not how long. For "Just living is not enough" said the butterfly fairy, "one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower." ~ Hans Christian Anderson to you with all our love!
For more about Carmen and her beautiful life or to Donate to Carmen's Makana please visit their website. http://carmenleolaniwhite.blogspot.com
Photo by Heather White.
Photo by Heather White.
