When pigs fly....

What is it about the dog days of summer that makes dogs act like... well dogs. Everyone likes to think that their pets take on human attributes right? After all I have a dog who can type! What happens when they actually just behave like dogs, do you get frustrated? Do you tell them to evolve? Do you find out for yourself what caused them to suddenly turn into the canine you hoped they never would be? 

As often happens our expectations can be a lot to live up to right? Stealing cheeseburgers off the counter, is taking these expectations to new heights.PIKE!!!! Then there are the moments when the ice maker spits out additional ice cubes and your dogs act like thieves, racing in and stealing them off the floor. Only to haul them off and let them melt somewhere. There's nothing like a dark house and a cold wet spot on the bottom of your foot to make you go OOOH!!!! DOGS!!!!

We recently had our lawn furniture pass away to the rust pile in the dump and where our once proud umbrella stood was a discolored patch of grass and dirt(real dirt). I looked out the window to see dirt flying everywhere and my once white dog covered in brown, wet mud. I yelled NO Pike, and he looked up still digging as if I had yelled GO! PIKE!!!!! Of course this ended in a race around the yard and our daughter letting in said muddy dog so he could help decorate the tile floor with muddy paw prints. I headed to get the mop. There has to be an easier way.

I actually have idea for a dog tunnel that you can hook up to a hose that is an instant dog wash. You shove them in one side and they come out the other washed dried and ready to go. Like an automatic car wash does to your car, the Hydro-dog-o-matic does to your dog. I can see the commercial now..... Do you have a dirty dog? Tired of muddy paws? Who has time to bathe their dog every day? Now you do!!!  They show this disgusting dog matted down with dirt and grim getting lead willingly into the Hydro-dog-o-matic. They show him through the little windows getting scrubbed and cleaned and emerging out the other side, blown dry, looking like the Fabio of the dog world. Imagine no getting wet, no chasing after the clean dog and trying to keep him from rolling in the muddy mess you made while bathing him. Sounds like a dream come true and for just $19.95 plus shipping to Hawaii for $149.95. You can say goodbye to dirty dogs forever.  I of course wake up from this nirvana to my 2 flithy dirty dogs, running around the yard dirtier then they were before their baths, at least I can always count on that. 

Speaking of things you can count on, our dogs have always done their business in the same area of the yard, no land mines to worry about, you know the area to avoid and you do. Then they throw in a steaming game changer that has you rethinking going barefoot and wondering how on earth you could possibly not have seen the giant pit of despair AKA Mt. Poop Everest you just walked into.  Well I can tell you how, because you were not expecting it to be there, why because it never has been there, not one time in the last 2 years. Thank you Pike and Rome for keeping me on my toes, the tips and only the tips. I wonder if I can fit into the Hydro-dog-o-matic. On second thought, thats all I need is a Pet Chronicle titled "A funny thing happened while I was stuck in the Hydro-dog-o-matic" so it is off to the hose I go.

I am hoping as we wind down the dog days of summer and head into the fall, my dogs brains as small as they are return.  I hope I can once again, take walks in the yard with out needing to shower with Lysol.  I hope that they realize after the 100th bath, that I will win.  Until then, I will stock up on shampoo and trash bags. I will make sure to grab the ice before they do and I will make sure that no cheeseburger goes left unattended.  Now I need to go see if I can find those rose colored glasses. I thought I put them by my flying pig, where did I set them.... oh no, Pike drop it! Pike get back here with those glasses.............Rome step away from that pig!!! DOGS!!!

Fiesta, la dolce vita

Hola amigos! Pike here from fiesta central. We are headed a little south of the border here at the Hospital this week.  As you all heard, my family adopted a new baby kitten named Queso and then we decided that we needed a little extra spice in our life and adopted his little brother aptly named Salsa. I am thinking all we need now is a tamale, a taco, a tostada and a pitcher of Margaritas and we could have one heck of a party. I am thinking Queso gatito encilladas with a side of Salsa sounds muy bueno (extremly good). Somehow, chasing after fast food really works up an appetite (pant pant pant), leaving me caliente (hot) and ready for a siesta (nap).

Actually, all kidding aside, I really like cats. I just wished they didn't feel the need to slap me repeatedly. "Hi. My name is Pike," sniff sniff, Slap slap. Hey! No need to get touchy feel-ly here, I was just tasting you with my nose. Geez. So again, this time throwing in a few compliments, "Hi. my name is Pike, your tail is sure fluffy" and you do a really great impersonation as a snake HISSSSS!!!! Slap Slap!!! What is it about dogs and cats that makes one think oil and vinegar? I, being the persistant chap that I am, decided to try and greet my new family members again. I was thinking maybe the reason they have Spanish names is that they only speak Spanish, so I say, "Hola mi Gato familia (hello my cat family)." What I got in this exchange was a low, dull growl and a jab to the ear and the face. I think I like my Salsa a little more on the mild side. When Rome tried to say hi, he said "Bonjour." French being the language of love, after all. He got slapped three times in less then a second. Clearly, they do not speak French.

I gave it some extra thought and I tried the only thing I could think of and said in my best italian, correre per la vostra palla di pelo vita, (run for your life fur ball)! This they understood. Clearly my mom and dad didn't do their research at all. These kittens aren't Spanish, they are Italian. Like a good Italian sports car, think Ferrari, Alfa Romeo, Lamborghini, Maserati, they are sleek, fast and fun, especially when they are in top gear.  Gentleman, there is no need to travel to Siena, we will run the Palio(a famous italian horse race) in the living room. I have decided I need to learn to embrace my new Italian, Spanish-named friends. I will call Queso "Forma", short for Formaggio (cheese) and Salsa will be Ragu (tomato sauce). Lucky for them, I love Margherita pizza.... molto bene! Ruff!!!

Say Cheese!

What is in a name? A cat by any other name is just a cat, right? Wrong!!!! We see all kinds of names- funny names, silly names, names you're not sure should be said in close company and names that leave you to wonder.....? Human names are becoming more popular for pets. We see a lot of dogs named Jake.  You can almost always bet when you are scheduling an appointment for a cat named "Pumpkin", it is orange and "Shadow" is almost always black. From Carrie Bradshaw (love this name) to a dog named "CAT" the names often say a lot about the client. 

Let's say for a minute you have a new orange kitten and you want to steer clear of the more common names like, Garfield, Pumpkin, Mango (very popular). What is a new pet owner to do? Well, we looked to our life style for inspiration and we actually contemplated naming our new kitten "WORK"!!! Our kids did not think that was a good name. We thought "Rotten" might be a good name and our daughter suggested "Orange Cat" (simple is good). I thought we should stick with our travel theme, Pikes Peak, Rome, so maybe Spain....which got me thinking. This is always a scary proposition in the Head household and usually spells TROUBLE! 

You see, if you asked Dr. Head what his favorite food in the world is, he would tell you cheese- mild, smelly, creamy, it doesn't matter, he loves it all. I, being allergic to dairy, stand by jealously watching my family eat cheese in great quantity. There are never less then 5 different types of cheese in our house at any given time. Our family can always agree on two things without any dicusion at all and those are cheese and bacon. Combine the two and you may just have the perfect food. I know,  I know, Dr. Atkins would be so proud. 

 As we sat around thinking of a name, we established a theme- Cheddar, Gouda, Swiss, Cheeto, Dorito, Carrot (okay, that has nothing to do with cheese but you get the idea). My children got very cleaver with "Sunset" and "Cream-sicle". I thought of Carmel, Dolce and then I remembered he was... well... a he. Pizza was up there for a bit as were Pepperoni and Salami. We are a very food-motivated family, can you tell? Finally, it came to me. It was so simple; I can't believe the creative process had taken so long. I almost wondered if my brain wasn't so busy digesting the delightful food we were naming it forgot to actually be objective..... We should name the kitten, BACON!!!! NO, not really, I just really like bacon, crispy, greesy, so bad for you, BACON!!! Like cheese is to Dr. Head, bacon is to me. If I had to choose between chocolate and bacon, I wouldn't. I would dip the bacon in the chocolate and enjoy. 

Seriously though, the kitten did get a name and it is a food, or to be more correct an entire food group. We named him "Queso Gato" or cheese cat. We think it describes him perfectly- creamy and soft, a little sharp, mixes well, adds flavor to anything, pungent, portable, and most importantly, dairy free. Who says there is no good dairy-free cheese out there? He is also the perfect combination of sweet and zesty. This ah ha moment was like that scene from Castaway when Tom Hanks is jumping around intoxicated by his ability to make fire (another good name). We were giddy with our ability to give our new family member a proper moniker. As we sat there watching him explore his new house and his new family, I thought we should take a picture of our newest member, on the count of three, everyone smile and say cheese. Ready? 1, 2, 3, QUESO!!!!  

YOU saw the stop light... didn't you?

Suggestion: by definition means 

1. The act of suggesting. 

2. Something suggested: We ordered the shrimp, a suggestion of the waiter.

3. The sequential process by which one thought or mental image leads to another.

Yeah yeah, I had to look it up, but it seems to be a hot topic right now so I thought I would get in on the conversation.

Everyday I hear the staff suggest this or that to clients. Truth be told, these would be recommendations from my dad but... there must be something about suggesting it vs. recommending it that helps people understand it. For instance, SMILE, it makes people wonder what you’re up to. It also puts people at ease and, if you practice it often, you may even notice yourself wanting to smile.

Now, for clarification, this is not the same as a definitive. Like a stop sign or a yield sign or a stop light- those are definitive. You know what to do and you observe the practice right? Or, is this too just a suggestion...? Thank God for me being a fan of the floor board of the car, unlike my brother who got to hit the back of Mom’s seat. DISCLAIMER: Anyone willing to pull out into traffic at the light onto the highway from Pua Pua Anui be warned, even after the light turns green, you must wait before you turn. Drivers run the light all the time. My mom always waits until cars come to a complete stop on the highway even if the light is already green be- fore she pulls out. Green means Go, right? NO!! Wait! I would recommend stopping, yielding as a adjunct in the course of self preservation, but it is up to you. Anyway, my mom hit the brakes (thank you Boris, Aka, and Rocko) and my brother hit the seat.

When we got to work, Mom was upset. My brother was sore, poor Rome. It was a good thing Mom had already put the window up or Rome may have been taking in the morning in a whole new way. I am certain his brief encounter with the seat as gravity lost control and inertia took over was enough physics lessons for a lifetime. Mom said, “news flash to all: apparently road signs and stop lights are merely suggestions.” Rome being her case in point.

Well, this got me thinking about veterinary stuff. Flea medications, heartworm medication and, for some,tick medication. These products are necessities for pets here in Hawaii, as are vaccines and annual check ups. These are like the road signs and the stop lights. While the staff may make suggestions as to the type of product that is right for your pet, these recommenda- tions are not optional. They are just giving you all the options. I know this gets confusing.

I was also thinking about other suggestions I hear made all the time, like which pet foods to feed and, more importantly, how much. We all know too much of a good thing is bad, right? (Okay, so I have not quite got this one down yet.) After all, history tells us if you put too much in, it has to go somewhere, right? My somewhere is usually the carpet in the hall, but for a lot of others it turns them into four-legged ottomans. Did you know you should be able to feel your pet’s ribs easily under their fur? It is true. While every pet is built differently and every breed is different, this rule is the same for all. Cats, small dogs, long dogs, big dogs, tall dogs, even super hot slim dogs like me have to watch their weight. Now I know what your thinking... trust me, I am actually a mind reader. What are the parents of the fur set supposed to do?

First, get your pet to the vet once a year. Don’t wait to see if Fluffy, Honey, Lucky and all the others will start eating and drinking after 4 days of vomiting, they won’t. Animals need yearly vaccines- yes, even adult dogs. Pets are not done after their puppy or kitten shots. Most importantly, every dog needs a heartworm test every year and to be on medication for heart- worm prevention (one tablet, once a month). The new stats are out and they are alarming. There are 6 to 25 cases of heartworm per clinic, per year in our region. Want more information about heartworm? Talk to our staff. Just so you know, CATS GET HEARTWORM TOO!! They are rarely treated, as they usually have a respiratory crisis and succum to the disease before you know they are sick. Why wait? There is a preventative available- oral medication for dogs and topical medication for cats. Has your pet missed a few doses? When is the last time you took your pet to the vet? For around .37 cents a day you can prevent heartworm. Heartworm cost hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars to treat, just so you have a perspective.

Lastly, my dear readers, I would like to make one last suggestion to everyone. I am going out on a limb here, but I am confident I will land on my feet (my dad will fix the broken bones, I am sure), but can we all try and spread happiness instead of doom and gloom? Animals pick up on the negative vibes out there and I can’t help but notice when a pet’s Mom and Dad come in and are frazzled and upset about life, their pets come in grumpy, nervous, and upset too. When you pull into the parking lot, take a deep breath, look out at the ocean view, get here a little early and stroll around the yard if you can. Enjoy a hot cup of coffee, a soda, or water and a magazine while you wait and remember, we are here to help. Come give me a rub (may I suggest my neck and under my chin). I will help lower your blood pressure and make you smile.

One more suggestion before I forget... Mom, are you reading this? BUY ROME A SEAT BELT!!! I actually really like him and would hate to see him damaged. Lucky for me, he can’t read so my secret is safe. RUFF!