What is it about the dog days of summer that makes dogs act like... well dogs. Everyone likes to think that their pets take on human attributes right? After all I have a dog who can type! What happens when they actually just behave like dogs, do you get frustrated? Do you tell them to evolve? Do you find out for yourself what caused them to suddenly turn into the canine you hoped they never would be?
As often happens our expectations can be a lot to live up to right? Stealing cheeseburgers off the counter, is taking these expectations to new heights.PIKE!!!! Then there are the moments when the ice maker spits out additional ice cubes and your dogs act like thieves, racing in and stealing them off the floor. Only to haul them off and let them melt somewhere. There's nothing like a dark house and a cold wet spot on the bottom of your foot to make you go OOOH!!!! DOGS!!!!
We recently had our lawn furniture pass away to the rust pile in the dump and where our once proud umbrella stood was a discolored patch of grass and dirt(real dirt). I looked out the window to see dirt flying everywhere and my once white dog covered in brown, wet mud. I yelled NO Pike, and he looked up still digging as if I had yelled GO! PIKE!!!!! Of course this ended in a race around the yard and our daughter letting in said muddy dog so he could help decorate the tile floor with muddy paw prints. I headed to get the mop. There has to be an easier way.
I actually have idea for a dog tunnel that you can hook up to a hose that is an instant dog wash. You shove them in one side and they come out the other washed dried and ready to go. Like an automatic car wash does to your car, the Hydro-dog-o-matic does to your dog. I can see the commercial now..... Do you have a dirty dog? Tired of muddy paws? Who has time to bathe their dog every day? Now you do!!! They show this disgusting dog matted down with dirt and grim getting lead willingly into the Hydro-dog-o-matic. They show him through the little windows getting scrubbed and cleaned and emerging out the other side, blown dry, looking like the Fabio of the dog world. Imagine no getting wet, no chasing after the clean dog and trying to keep him from rolling in the muddy mess you made while bathing him. Sounds like a dream come true and for just $19.95 plus shipping to Hawaii for $149.95. You can say goodbye to dirty dogs forever. I of course wake up from this nirvana to my 2 flithy dirty dogs, running around the yard dirtier then they were before their baths, at least I can always count on that.
Speaking of things you can count on, our dogs have always done their business in the same area of the yard, no land mines to worry about, you know the area to avoid and you do. Then they throw in a steaming game changer that has you rethinking going barefoot and wondering how on earth you could possibly not have seen the giant pit of despair AKA Mt. Poop Everest you just walked into. Well I can tell you how, because you were not expecting it to be there, why because it never has been there, not one time in the last 2 years. Thank you Pike and Rome for keeping me on my toes, the tips and only the tips. I wonder if I can fit into the Hydro-dog-o-matic. On second thought, thats all I need is a Pet Chronicle titled "A funny thing happened while I was stuck in the Hydro-dog-o-matic" so it is off to the hose I go.
I am hoping as we wind down the dog days of summer and head into the fall, my dogs brains as small as they are return. I hope I can once again, take walks in the yard with out needing to shower with Lysol. I hope that they realize after the 100th bath, that I will win. Until then, I will stock up on shampoo and trash bags. I will make sure to grab the ice before they do and I will make sure that no cheeseburger goes left unattended. Now I need to go see if I can find those rose colored glasses. I thought I put them by my flying pig, where did I set them.... oh no, Pike drop it! Pike get back here with those glasses.............Rome step away from that pig!!! DOGS!!!
