History has a way of repeating itself and, as a dog, I guess I am not immune to this phenomenon. You see, I have been back at work the last couple days and I was behaving so well, thanks to my battery operated, gentle correcting, accessory my parents purchased for me, they thought I was better. Nope, I am not. I tried but just can not seem to catch myself before I open my mouth and my teeth just kind of spring out. With my collar on, I am an angel so I guess that means I now have a constant reminder to be good or I have to go home.
At home, I am also having a few issues. Well mainly food issues, you see, I love fruit- watermelon in particular. I never eat grapes since they are toxic to dogs but mango, papaya, pineapple- all of these things are so very good that I.... I just couldn't help myself and I helped myself to my sister's plate... on the counter. My mom chased me out of the kitchen like she was on fire, screaming, "bad dog Pike, bad dog!" Oddly, for a minute I did hang my head but then I heard the blender come out and I was back in the kitchen in hopes that out of all that fruit Mom was putting in the blender, a piece would find its way into my belly. Mom gave me and Captain Slow (Rome) each a carrot and told us both to GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN. I heard her just fine when she said it in a regular voice; there really is no need yell.
I went into the living room climbed up on the sofa and laid down to enjoy my carrot and my dad came out of no where yelling, "PIKE OFF!!!!" Meanwhile, Captain Slow was laying in the sun by the backdoor like the golden child...suck up!
Then last night I made another error in judgement, as my sister was eating a plate of cheesy chips. Ok, now let me just say that again, not all of it, just the CHEESY CHIPS part. Let's be honest, unless you are allergic to dairy (sorry Mom) or have broken your taste buds, chips with hot, melted, ooey, gooey cheese is as close to Heaven on Earth as you can get. Next to a grilled cheese sandwich, honestly there is nothing better. In fact, if you asked my Dad what his favorite food on the planet is, he will tell you cheese. This includes all cheese: cheese cake, cheese bread, cheese dip (warm, melted Blue cheese with bacon crumbles and chives in cream cheese). Oh yes, let's face it, there are so many to choose from and well, as far as dogs are concerned, the stinkier the better.
Anyway, I decided, since my sister was wasting time eating her plate of chips with cheese, I would help her again. Only this time, it made her cry and then Mom locked me in a kennel until I could remember not to help myself to the people food. I hope you read that line correctly- LOCKED ME IN A KENNEL! Oh yes, she did. I whined to her loudly saying, "I am so sorry Mom and I heard my sister in the kitchen wanting a new plate because Pike "ruined" her other one." Me... I ruined her meal? I was only trying to share the moment with her and help her clean her plate. Ruined her meal? If anything, she should thank me for helping... but no, ruined her meal is what I get. To make matters worse, my mom then threw the first plate of chips and cheese away. I have decided my mother is a hypocrite. She is always talking about not wasting anything and only taking as much as you can eat, that way you don't throw food away. Then what does she do? She throws food away! Maybe she needs to spend some time in her kennel. Better yet, maybe she should eat the same boring dog food everyday, every meal for the rest of her life. I know people food is bad for pets and I understand I have seen all my friends coming in and out of the Hospital due to dietary indiscretion. I know how important maintaining a healthy weight is... I hear about it all day long at work, but seriously.
Well, this whole weekend got me to thinking. In fact, I did a lot of thinking last night and I decided to start the week off with a fresh approach to my stomach and my attitude. First, I will be at work, collar on at all times. Second, if I am still hungry after eating my meal and drinking water I will just wait until Captain Slow forgets what he is doing while eating and gets up and gets his ball, leaving his food unattended.Then I will simply eat it , we wouldn't want it to get stale. I put this into practice this morning and well, I got chased down the hall by my brother while he screamed at me, "BAD DOG PIKE," locked me in my kennel and made me stay home from work to think about my behavior. Lucky for me, my behave collar is at work or I may have spent the day under serious house arrest instead of an hour. My parents let me out since I had a deadline to keep. Oh well, I guess some things never change. We are doomed to repeat our failures. Perhaps I just need to get a little more stealth. Maybe I just need to adapt to my environment, evolve to become better then before. Maybe I need to learn how to open the fridge while everyone is at work. Now we are on to something. Let me see... Mom keeps the carrots in the bottom drawer, right? JACKPOT!!!!
RUFF!
