Well, it has come to my attention that I may be getting muscled-out by my younger and, according to my family, smarter brother. Now I know that my mom really loves me best, I am, after all, the great protector of our family, however Rome seems to get all kinds of lavish toys everyday.
I remember when I would get a new rope or chew toy about every 2 months which, in dog years, is an eternity, just for the record. That stupid puppy gets new toys all the time. I think it is because he is so cute and sweet, but I overheard Mom saying she should have named him Houdini and that she has never seen a dog so smart. Now, of course she wasn't actually comparing him to me. After all, how many dogs do you know that type their own column for the paper each week? Clearly when it comes to brains and braun, if we are really taking stock, I am all that and a bag of kibble. Back to the toys however, to keep Mr. Rome out of trouble when he is bored my Mom continues to feed his gluttony with more toys. Squeaky balls-he has 3 now. I think Mom forgot she already bought him the other 2. She bought him a new raccoon because apparently the one I chewed in half and tore the legs off wasn't good enough for him. What ever happened to hand me downs? I mean really, there were several parts that had only been slightly chewed. She bought him a new rope because she was worried about linear foreign bodies from all the strands I unraveled as I drug him across the living room last night on his back. If he is so smart, why didn't he let go? That's the question she should be asking not, "Pike, why did you destroy this rope?" Um... well let's see, 40-pounds of dog back and forth across the rug, the tile, the doorsill 10 times will do that to a rope. I know she is smarter then this, but still she asks.
Which brings me to a question for her, "Mom, why is it that he has the bigger treat kong?" I know you know what I am talking about and I have to say I am very disappointed in you. He has the a huge Kong and I just have the original standard-issue one. Now I understand sometime you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit, but I WANT THE BIG KONG!!!! I am the oldest and I was here first and I..i....Never mind, I'll just wait until he is busy being smart and moving the soda fridge out of the the way so he can escape and run free around the lobby and then, then I will take it. Yep, that is exactly what I will do. Now who's the smart one. Rome may be younger and sweeter but, at the end of the day, its called Pike's Corner, not Rome's.
