ROMEITIS: NOUN. An acute case of Rome the puppy taking over your life. Eating your food and generally speaking consuming the world in which you live. A swelling of your neck, legs, face, tail, and anything else that Rome can get his mouth around and chew on. A smell that causes your nostrils to become swollen and inflamed; it smells like wet dog, dirt, smelly socks and rotten eggs and it comes in a 40 pound bottle called Rome dele pue and can be purchased at your local shelter for around 80 dollars.
It goes with out saying if I could understand the syllabus, and try and see what I am really being asked to do it may not be that hard. I am trying to understand the “subject matter” but honestly I can’t make heads or tails. I am wondering if my family meant to sign up for the honors class or the AP version that we have landed in. All I can say is, I hope I get a college credit for this!
I over heard my dad saying after a very long session “Remember when we thought Pike 101 was a lot of work?” (first thought: me, are you joking?). Then mom said, “Rome
101.2 is like a scene from Nightmare on Elm Street and a Brittany Spears song on puree: 1,2, Rome is coming for you, 3,4 run for the door, 5,6,7,8. . . 9, 10 oops he did it again.”
Just tonight as we sat together watching a movie about how to tame your dragon, I was wondering how this applied to ROME. Then he took out dads knee, laid waste to my sister as she came down the stairs and it all became clear. He met dad at his kennel for office hours and the whole family went out for recess.
The crazy thing is, I don’t think it needs to be this hard. He is a clever chap and a fast teacher so he definitely has more then 2 squirrels running around in the space between his ears. He is a presence when he wants to be and when he showers after gym class he is not too bad to have around. Then he en-rolls in something gross and I come back to reality and remember who my lab partner really is! Secretly, I keep hoping for the Cliff Notes so I can just take the final and don’t have to come to class everyday and sit through the agony. Mom can you pass the Rimadyl? My whole body aches!
I wish I could speak dog but honestly it is a lost language to me since I have spell check and an editor. I think someone should tell him his class is too much for beginners and only after taking all of the pre-recs should anyone attempt to take Rome 101.2. I would tell Rome; go slowly some of us have a hard time keeping up! There should be a lesson on how to smell Poodles and that cute Mastiff that was sitting on the counter the other day. We need more time spent learning about weave poles, agility classes and lessons on the teeter-totter than on how to take out your entire family in one flight of stairs! This is an advanced class and we clearly are beginners.
the Collies, the
I did figure out what to do for extra credit to bring up my grade. I am going to order him a shirt that says if you are close enough to read this, run for your life I will spontaneously combust in 1,2 RUFF!!!
I hope to make it through his first year. If it is this hard I can’t imagine what the second year will be like! I may need a tutor, and some really strong water to get through it. I have my family and we can study the subject together. At the very least one of us can always be ready to yell.... INCOMING! Class dismissed. ~Ruff!
