mom says I am the most handsome dog ever and my sister loves me all the way to the moon and back. I know this should be enough for a rescue dog like me but well it is not. So.... for the time being I will be hanging out protecting my house. This is a skill I excel at and not to put too fine a point on it but my bite is much worse then my bark. I will be returning to work for brief stints to see if I can behave myself. Meanwhile Captain ZERO (Rome) will be helming the ship, greeting you all with his happy go-lucky attitude and his never ending need to seek your approval and attention. I will be chewing things up at home and putting them into Rome’s kennel, evidence that I am the better dog.
I was thinking in my time off I could work on my tan, but then I remembered white dogs and cats have a higher rate of skin cancer. Then I thought perhaps I would catch up on some TV but I remembered how weird my family is and that we don’t have cable and haven’t for over 5 years. I thought maybe I could have my mom leave the treadmill on so I could at least get some exercise. I asked her and she said NO! I guess this means instead I will be lying around doing nothing. My mom says it is called “introspection”. I said no it is called “mind-numbing boredom”. Either way, I will be out of the office for a while. I want you all not to worry about me... alone, no staff to tend to, no Fed Ex men to chase, just me, myself and I. I will think about my actions and try to figure out how to be a better dog while lying on the sofa, watching the palm trees sway. Time off for bad behavior never looked so good. RUFF!!!
