We are going to start out with a riddle.
What do you get when you mix three papaya trees, three 5-gallon buckets filled with dirt, 2 dogs and an SUV?
Answer: A Pike’s Corner
Everyone knows that I hate to ride in the car. The only thing worse is having to get in the car when it is raining outside. Imagine my horror when I went to load up in the pouring rain and realized not only would I be riding home in Mom’s SUV, but I also got to share the space with the King of the Space Cadets (ROME) and three buckets filled with dirt and plants. This is like the plot of every nightmare I have ever had, only this was my reality. Mom loaded us up and walked back inside. I tried to close my mind to
what was sure to be the cross between death and dismemberment and a re-run of Nightmare on Elms Street. Rome settled down for a snack. Apparently Papaya tree was on the menu and, from the looks of it, he was enjoying it very much. I waited for Mom to come back, panicking about the car adventure ahead.
While my brother from another planet snacked, I tried to get as close to the seat as possible. I did my best “Elasta Girl” impression and wedged myself between the buckets and the seat and prayed that the Dog Gods would take me in one quick motion. To my surprise, my dad got behind the wheel, which luckily meant we were going straight home and not all the way up to get my sister at preschool. Thanks to the universe for small favors.... nope, I spoke too soon.
About halfway home, I heard the tell tale signs coming from Rome that perhaps papaya trees are not the best snacks for dogs.
My dad heard it too and I could tell that the car sped up a bit as Rome vomited up the contents of the fleshy tree that had stood so happily in the bucket, just moments before. I was thankful I was out of the splash zone ensconced behind the white buckets and pinned against the seat. This is self-preservation at its finest folks.
When dad got home, he was very thankful for Mom’s foresight. She had covered the whole back of the SUV with a blanket, protecting the floor, the seat and everything in between. I was between a seat back and a bucket with a sea of Rome’s dietary indiscretion in front of me, so I stayed put. Dad unloaded everything and pulled the blanket out, spilling me onto the concrete, clean and physically undamaged. As for my mental state, I may need to take a day off for some couch therapy to put the whole incident behind me. Captain Idiot, unfazed by his latest vomiting episode, bound out into the yard, looking for his next great adventure.
When Mom got home, Dad explained what happened and pointed out the papaya trees. One of our staff, Lyndsey, brought the banana trees home from the office for my mom and dad. Why Mom didn’t think to send the whole lot of plants with her is beyond me. I guess Mom wasn’t thinking about Rome the Destroyer. He won’t eat a piece of banana but can’t resist cockroaches and whole papaya trees... um,okay! My mom laughed and grabbed the shovel and pick ax and set to work planting the trees in the pouring rain. Dad interviewed a doctor over the phone and I surveyed the action from inside where it was dry. With four new banana trees and the two remaining papayas planted, Mom headed for a shower and Dad made some dinner. I laid down in my soft bed and closed my eyes, glad that the last hour was behind me. Rome took a nap and did his best impression of a dead cockroach as we drifted off to sleep with the sound of rain falling outside. I wished for sweet dreams and, for the record, I prefer mangos. RUFF!
