My family took my brother and I on a hike. I didn't even know what a hike was and now, well now, I am hooked. The trees, the smells, the dirt!!!! Awe yes this is a dogs life. Then my family had to go rain on my fall leave parade. I heard mom saying no hikes the next couple weeks to the kids this morning and and I realized that means no hikes for the dogs either. Wait just a minute here missy... you said Sunday Funday. I heard you say this and now your saying no more hikes for a while? Thats like saying no more dinner for a while. You are insane! Make up your mind already! Do we need to stage an intervention?
It was later in the day at work I knew there was trouble. I was listening to my mom go over the schedule with our staff for the next few weeks and well let me just say I AM A LITTLE UPSET!!!. I understand she and dad are busy, what with all the new equipment arriving that needs to be installed time is a hot commodity. She is talking about literally burning the midnight oil here. I heard something about them winning a grand prize and a fancy dinner! Then I heard her mention to the kids they are all running in the Path Race this Sunday! What are we doing Sunday afternoon, I ask BARK BARK?? She opens the back door gesturing for me to go outside. No! I do not need to go outside mom, I need an answer. Come on women if I can learn to type you can learn to speak dog. Bark Bark!!! Then as if she can read my mind, she said the rest of Sunday will be spent installing equipment and working at the hospital. GRRRRR! That is not fair.I slink off in search of my stuffed penguin and to pout, then I remember Dad threw it away! Something about it smelling like death and possibly carrying the black plague. All that seasoning wasted. Things went from bad to worse.
I heard mom talking to dad in the kitchen about next week, the kids are off for fall break, ok maybe that means they are taking the week off, surely that means quality family time right. This could be promising, I perk up! Then I heard her say we are closed on Saturday the 12th for Ironman. Wait what, we are never close? That MUST mean a little family fun! OH yes there it is the silver lining! Ok now this is what I am talking about... hold on let me pack my beach towel; where did I leave my doggles...wait excuse me what? NO, what did you just say? We have to get ready for Ironman because your all helping with the aid station for the school all day! No!!! NO!!!! This can't be!
This left me with with no hope, dejected. I laid down behind the chair and gave this situation some serious thought. I knew immediately what I had to do...I BARKED, and BARKED and Barked at my mom. She didn't even notice. Perhaps I have desensitized her, crap I hadn't thought of that. I cried out like I had been kicked, YELP! Head snaps in my direction, thats a good sign she will come to my aid. Dad walks over doesn't even say anything checks my paws turns me around expertly feeling my body to see if I am injured. No clean bill of health! "Go lay down Pike" he says. Oh sweet baby hamsters!!! I have reached a new low.
I walked over and laid down next to my penguin replacement; a stuffed monkey! I took the monkeys head in my teeth and I thrashed it around all my frustration and anger building and building and then something bit me hard right on the butt, I spun around YOWL!!! It bit me again! Yelp Yelp! I spun again this time trying to see what in the heck is attacking me and realize it was the stupid monkey. Every time I spin around wildly I whipped myself with this things 10 inch long tail, effectively turning it into a bull whip. Thats it I quit. UNCLE I scream to the universe. Uncle I say under breath. NO hikes, no penguin and an attack monkey, I may have reached the end of my preverbal rope. I try to decide if I should sharpen my teeth and face it head on or bury my head in the sand like an ostrich. I decide to crawl under a blanket, my sand equivalent at the moment and close my eyes. ~Ruff!
